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[Oct. 18th, 2006|06:18 pm] |
So as I was reading through my old entries i relized cant help but let out a slight chuckle to myself. If I was a mess back then than i think the term 'mess' should be redefined, and for a small fee, ill be happy to show those goons over at webster what a real mess looks like.
Other than the ushual bullshit thats going i finially had a free moment to spare so i figured why not check out my old livejournal, but upon stumbling into the cold dark world of internet blogging i realized that i could van go a run for his money with all my crying and bitching i did in here over the course of the last few yaers.
Not that i beleive that anyone really gives a shit what i write in here, but for my own personal demeanor and well being i fell i owe it to mylsef to start to write somthing in here, at least untill the weeping widows clear away from my layout that screams anabell lee, or somthing of that sorts.
Anyways, i does sort of seem fitting that this does exist for most of the details of the last years will fail to render even the slightest thought in my brain when im done with it - thats a promise - but it is nice to know that as bad as i think it is now, my history proves it only gets worse.
- rob-e-rancor |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 21st, 2005|10:30 pm] |
haha livejournals are stupid.
this summer will be void of this. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 2nd, 2005|03:56 pm] |
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i wish i had no reason to post in this thing |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 27th, 2005|09:18 pm] |
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racial insults are pathetic. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 21st, 2005|09:44 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  complacent | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | cooking wine | ] |
i've been to heaven. there's beer, drugs, underage girls, a live band, pot, and a constant haze of cigerette smoke. maybe you were lucky enough to have spent a few moments there. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 16th, 2005|11:56 pm] |
my calender tells me it's april but i odn't think that easter has past yet. if someone could clear this up it would ease my confusion.
damn this technology |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 14th, 2005|05:30 pm] |
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not for external use |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 11th, 2005|07:23 pm] |
eloquence:
1. Persuasive, powerful discourse.
2. The skill or power of using such discourse. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 4th, 2005|11:02 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  drunk | ] |
why is it that things make the most sense when your not in a sober mind?
and why is it when your drunk everything you say comes out exactly how you mean it to at that moment, but after that min of clarity its all gone, incoherency takes its hold of your mind again.
life is...
life is, and thats all that it can be.
I went outside to smoke a cigerete today at work. i went outside to smoke a cigerete and one of those random thoughts came into my head. one of the thoughts that you would normally pass by and think nothing of. but it made sense today for some reason. it created a calm around me. it created nothing, but it understood everything. everything that doesn't make sense suddenly became knowledge. all that bullshit that you think about all day and night wasn't the unknown, it became all that i did know. it became that one comfort that you know you will always have; whether it be good or bad. it was the only thing that i knew at that moment. for those few seconds all that haunted me at night became a dream that i didn't want to wake from. a world that i knew existed but i also knew that i would never reach. i saw that perfection was not the absense of flaws or the willingsness to take chances, i saw that perfection didn't exist. it didn't exist for anyone. no one will have the life that they wanted, moreover no one knows the life that they want, and at that very instant i knew that. i knew that life is never in our grasp, that we can't control it. i saw that at that moment in time there were so many people out there with so many thoughts. thoughts that descibed what that person feels at that exact time. and i whispered to myself, "this is it." this is as good as it gets, that this is the best that i will do. that this is the only world i will ever see and i don't even understand all of it. but i also conceived that thats alright. not knowing everything is ok. that realizing halfway through your life is ok. i saw that life is the biggest mind game that anyone could ever create. but all you have to do is trust that it is better than this. some people call that being naive, but i'll tell them that being sure of anything is worse than not knowing at all. alcohol must have been created to make us so retarded that all social constructs disapear. to make us so inebriated that we will actually fathom the impossible. we will see that all the movies and all the tv that we watch actually came from a original thought. that at some point in time someone somewhere created a concept that was in it's essence. that even though the messsage might have been shuffled aside, that it is still there. and knowing this is perfection. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 3rd, 2005|06:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | drunk | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | ak3 - cooking wine | ] |
one talent everyone should have is the ability to type while drunk |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 2nd, 2005|11:41 am] |
J&W University Class of 2007
thats right i still graduate a year before you fuckers. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 1st, 2005|10:35 am] |
wheaton college, norton ma - accepted
johnson and whales univeristy providence ri - accepted
ma or ri, decicisions. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 27th, 2005|10:10 pm] |
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my left ear is pretty fukced up for some reason. i can't hear shit out of it. it's been like this for 2 days now and i'm starting to wonder why this is. i don't think being deaf would be fun |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 26th, 2005|02:54 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  tired | ] |
a lot of people hate bush and don't know why |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 24th, 2005|07:27 am] |
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i hate when you have a dream that feels so real that whne you wake up you're never quite sure if it was real or not. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 23rd, 2005|08:26 pm] |
chad
chad is mad
with a literacy rate of 30%
chad is sad |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 22nd, 2005|09:00 pm] |
yea so, the other night was a mistake. yep. not much else to say. you knew what it was. it's you're own fault.
the justice system is fucke dup in this country. when you're out in the world, walking th streets, the police, they're the ones trying to fuck us over. they're our enemies. so they'll slam us against cars, call us a peice of shit, and nearly snap our forearms; when we're in jail tho, we're expected to forget all that shit. we're expected to be friends with the cops. they want us to talk to them and shot the shit and be nice to them. fuck them. |
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